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The Art of Disorder

~ Life Simplification Process | Reading & Writing & Staying Alive

Category Archives: Communication

Keeping Tally (Update 2)

20 Friday Apr 2018

Posted by Lizl Bennefeld in Families, Life Through My Windows, Lifestyle, Personal, Reflections

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Tags

bereavement, communication, connections, death, Families, family, isolation, loss

The original post was  made on 9 September 2017. Additions to the list of family deaths—over a span of about 410 days (1 year, 1 month, 2 weeks) were made on January 5th of this year.

I am sorry to add another name to the list, but aunt Norma died this morning, and the funeral is to take place early in the coming week. She celebrated her 100th birthday, 18 January, with a party given for her at her church on January 14. Al has one aunt still living, and so do I.

 

Sweets for Breakfast

16 Friday Feb 2018

Posted by Lizl Bennefeld in Families, Food, Life Through My Windows, Personal, photography, poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

challenges, dailypost, photography, poem, weekly photo challenges

sliced fruit and yogurt

Breakfast Sweets

for WP Weekly Photo Challenge: Sweet

sliced bananas
pineapple, melons and grapes
morning’s sweet tastes

memories of good times
sharing comfort, food and love

Copyright © 2018-02-16, by Lizl Bennefeld.

Keeping Tally (Update)

05 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by Lizl Bennefeld in Families, Life Through My Windows, Lifestyle, Personal, Reflections

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Tags

bereavement, communication, connections, death, Families, family, isolation, loss

This post was originally made on 9 September 2017. I have made some additions to the list of family deaths—over a span of about 410 days (1 year, 1 month, 2 weeks).

Within the past ten thirteen and a half months or so, the ranks of relatives have thinned more dramatically.

  1. 26 October 2016, Aunt Dorothy, Mother’s sister (98 yrs)
  2. 15 November 2016, Mother (94 yrs)
  3. 26 February 2017, Dad (100 yrs)
  4. 17 May 2017, Uncle Wayne, Dad’s brother (77 yrs)
  5. 20 July 2017, Uncle Jim, Mother’s brother-in-law (93 yrs)
  6. 31 July 2017, Uncle Albert, Dad’s brother (95 yrs)
  7. 5 September 2017, Aunt Marion, Dad’s sister (88 yrs)
  8. 30 October 2017, Aunt Esther, Dad’s sister (82 years)
  9. 6 December 2017, Nora Kathleen, Aunt Marion’s daughter (60 years)
  10. 9 December 2017, Don, Al’s uncle (91 years)

I am planning for steps in self-care in preparation for the continuing journey. The bereavement counselor that I began meeting with at the end of October has kindly scheduled another meeting and left me a book that I am appreciating. Recalling moments along life’s road. So, a few weeks from now, we have one more meeting, at least, in which to wrap things up.

One thing that made the losses difficult to deal with was that the information on a number of deaths in the family did not get passed along, because key contact people were among the first to die. Inevitable, I expect, in terms of family dynamics. And the contact information was not passed along across the generations. At least not in our family. (I’m not gonna say who sat on it, but that happened.) There was no obituary for one of the recent deaths I learned about…by accident, since the family of origin/birth name was not included.

I am sad for missing death notices, family gatherings, opportunities to mourn and celebrate together, and chances to visit more with folks whose lives and ours did not intersect as often as I could have hoped. Even USPS mailing or email addresses would have diminished the feelings of isolation that came with the discovery of so many of the deaths.

Finding out that many of us were not in the loop(s) takes away the feeling of estrangement, leaving only my own grief and my personal loss. I can deal with that.

 

Tentative Morning

19 Tuesday Sep 2017

Posted by Lizl Bennefeld in Communication, Personal, Uncategorized, Writing

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Tags

dailypost, Nature, photography, poem, poetry, writing prompt

Response to the WordPress Daily Post prompt: Tentative

No 4-leaf Clovers

 

tentative morning
not a four-leaf clover here
dead leaves, cold rain

Copyright © 2017-09-19, by Lizl Bennefeld.

Keeping Tally

09 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by Lizl Bennefeld in Families, Personal, Reflections

≈ Comments Off on Keeping Tally

 

Within the past ten months or so, the ranks of relatives have thinned dramatically.

  1. October 26, Aunt Dorothy, Mother’s sister (98 yrs)
  2. November 15, Mother (94 yrs)
  3. February 26, Dad (100 yrs)
  4. May 17, Uncle Wayne, Dad’s brother (77 yrs)
  5. July 20, Uncle Jim, Mother’s brother-in-law (93 yrs)
  6. July 31, Uncle Albert, Dad’s brother (95 yrs)
  7. September 5, Aunt Marion, Dad’s sister (88 yrs)

I believe that I will set aside some time for quiet.

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