Written in response to the WP Daily Prompt: Believe.
winds and rain
broken tree limbs
believe—not in today
but for tomorrow’s hope
Copyright © 2017-10-09, by Elizabeth W. Bennefeld.
Introduction: One of my most favorite authors, Sharon Shinn, recently (since 2010) began a series of novels called Elemental Blessings. Each Monday she has been drawing three tokens, each with a symbol and a blessing written on it, and posting them on her Facebook Page (sharonshinnbooks). I consider the list to be unordered.
I have my own set of her blessings tokens. It is interesting to note the differences between the blessings that she draws and mine. Often I use one or more as a basis for a poem, article, or jumping-off point for personal meditations throughout the week.
The blessings fit in quite nicely with my goals for this time period, which include withdrawal from most interaction, contemplation on the changes that are taking place/have occurred already in my life following our parents’ deaths.
I didn’t get enough sleep, last night (5 hours), and I am heading the same direction tonight. The two poems that I wrote on the 26th of July (see TheWrittenWord.net/journal) are important.
I received in today’s mail the hardcover copy of Common Ground, by Ryan Pancoast, writer/illustrator. A children’s fantasy story of interspecies relations. I like it a lot.
I find myself overwhelmed by emotion, revisiting in my mind the time close to my mother’s death, seeing her fear over many months, and then the letting go of fear. It is overwhelming to realize once again that she is now free from all fear and free from the continual grief at the ongoing sense of the losses that so altered her life: the sharp dislocation between who she knew that she is and the life that she found herself living. The struggle to live as herself in a disparate world.
I could only try to comfort her. I could not take away the fear because I could not change reality. Her fears were realistic, and her grief was real.
And then, I look at where I am finding the most aid and comfort in my own grieving process. A textbook on bridging the gap between grief and bereavement counseling and practice that the grief counselor loaned me, the last time she was here. I think, maybe I also carry a lot of nonfinite grief.